1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
3. You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He emails
you back from his bedroom, “What’s for dinner?”
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her Web site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you
haven’t spoken with your next door neighbor this year.
6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it
7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so
she can create a screensaver.
8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home.
9. Every commercial on television has a Web site address at the bottom of
10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and sells for
half the price you paid.
11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the
first 20 or 30 years of your life, is cause for panic and turning around
to go get it.
12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would
be a hassle and take planning.
13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of
the back seat of your car.
14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not
have e-mail addresses.
15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.
20. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you
just pulled the plug on a loved one.
21. You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.
22. You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on
your way back to bed.
23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
–Selected from The Good, Clean Funnies List